The Dream & the Dreamer are one

For a while I've been considering what kind of writing about dreams to do, what's interesting, what's useful, what's fun to read.

I learnt so much over the years from people who demonstrated what they did without explaining it much, and that is what I am most drawn towards. People who wrote tarot blogs and shared what card spreads they did and what it meant to them, people who shared actual case studies of herbalism and what they had experienced over the years; with or without their insights being known or established in a widespread way.

I've recently re-read some Terry Pratchett books and the amount of ancient knowledge, ritual, and mystical, mythical content in them is huge. As I grew up reading Terry Pratchett, this is more where I want to put my words than a handy instruction manual.

None of this is about being 'right', immutable; it's about having fun while exploring.

And now I deliver you back to dreamland.

There is a very tall monolith, jutting out horizontally from high up. We see it from the bus, as we reluctantly sit in the seat, wishing we were not on the bus. The bus is headed up the mountain, away from a flood. We do not believe that, although it is raining, there is a flood risk. We would like to go back down the hill.

The road is getting steeper. We enter a cut out portion of the mountain that has been mined. A large construction site with huge machinery. Looming above is still the very large black concrete pillar. It is sometimes vertical and sometimes horizontal, depending on what angle you look at it. It is unsupported.

The bus does not have a roof anymore, and goes into a cave-tunnel, guarded by an empty gatehouse. The roof is low, and we duck down, so we don't scrape on the ceiling. The driver is going faster than we would like. We enter a new open, flat space on the mountain - quick gasp of relief - before catapulting into the next tunnel. The bus comes to a halt fast, at a dropped down boom gate. The writing on the gate says REENTER.

We turn around in the small space easily, and go to leave, sedately, back down the hill.

What is something you have so much enthusiasm for, so much energy for, you are doing it no matter what, so much energy has gone into this, and we are finally here...!!! Only for it to be disappointed, let down, stopped, hit in the face with reality, questioned, knocked back down?

You know how a young tree grows so fast it sometimes can't hold its own weight, and falls over, still growing? This tree could be held upright by a stake and one little wire - there isn't that much weight - and that's often what we do for them.

Do you ever feel like there's that time where you are going so fast towards something you want that you don't want it - not like this, not at that speed, not exactly how it seems to happen - it really looms, reality (apprehension, panic) hits - and nothing you used to know is available to you anymore. The weight of what you've signed up to do is enormous, and also way above your head. How did you get this job? This situation? You are sure you used to know how to do it but now we're here it's like everything has evaporated.

The dream that has been a golden wish has turned into the looming overweighted overbearing monolith of what you thought you wanted. It seems foolish now, it seems too much, it's too high up, and the cool calmness of the cave is rushing by too fast. You are not in control.

The first time you run at a highjump that is higher than before, you freak out. If you run at it, panic-stop, but allow yourself to breathe, visualise yourself jumping it, and walk back and try again, you usually do 10 times better.

The work you have done to mine the gold, the gems, the jewels of life is still with you for you to come at the approach again.